If it feels awkward to invite people to a small group, you probably skipped a step. Get a co-leader, pick a study, choose an Earthcare Activity, and lock in a date and time before you invite anyone. A penciled-in schedule turns a vague idea into a real invitation. Then get to the point where you are okay if nobody says yes. Once you can be content with just you and your co-leaders leading this group, the invitation stops being a sales pitch and starts being a gift. Below are some scripts you can steal, plus a simple way to use your Dinner & Discussion nights alongside your Earthcare Activities to make inviting neighbors easy.
Why it Feels Awkward to Invite People to a Small Group
I used to think some people were just naturally better at inviting other people to things. Like it was a spiritual gift, right up there with hospitality and speaking in tongues. Gift of Invitation. Some have it, some don’t, and I clearly did not get handed that one at birth.
Turns out that wasn’t really the problem. The problem was that I kept trying to invite people to a group that didn’t fully exist yet.
Here’s what I mean. Before you say a single word to a potential group member, you need four things in place.
- A co-leader, so you’re not doing this alone and so there’s someone else who can take the reins for the group when you’re not around.
- A study, so people have a plan for your Dinner & Discussion nights.
- An Earthcare Activity, because Tend groups are built around doing something with our hands, not just talking about ideas.
- And a date and time.
That last one is the one people tend to skip. They are worried they’ll choose a time no one can come to, so they don’t set a time at all and begin to poll their friends. Don’t make this mistake!
If you go up to someone and say, “hey, I’m starting a small group sometime this fall, what works for you?” you’ll almost always get the same answer: “yeah, keep me posted!” That’s because you haven’t actually invited them to anything.
On the other hand, if you say, “we’re meeting the first and third Tuesday of the month at 6:30 at my house, for ten weeks starting September 17th” now you’ve given them something real to respond to. They can actually check their calendar. And they can say “Yes!” to it. That’s the difference between an invitation and a suggestion.
So if this whole inviting-people thing has felt awkward for you, do an audit first. Do you have a co-leader? A study? An activity? And be honest, do you have an actual date and time, even a penciled-in one? If any of those are missing, that’s your assignment before you send a single text.
The Other Kind of Awkward: Needing People to Say Yes
There’s a second reason invitations feel weird, and it has nothing to do with logistics. It’s that we need people to say yes. That pressure makes it feel awkward to the person doing the inviting, and I want to relieve you of that.
Here’s the posture shift that I want to encourage you to embrace: try to get to a place where you’d genuinely be fine if it’s just you and your co-leader in this small group.
Imagine ten weeks during which you and your co-leader eat together, pray together, and do outdoor Earthcare Activities together and have a transformative experience. That’s not so bad, is it?
So let every added person be a gift. It’s icing on top of the cake.
That’s because Tend isn’t built on scarcity, on needing to hit a certain number to justify the effort. It’s built on God’s abundance. “Wherever two or more are gathered…”
You’re not scrambling to gather enough people to make this small group worthwhile or to reach “critical mass” (whatever that means). Like a firstfruits offering, you’re giving to God the first and best of what you already have, trusting there’s more where that came from. If two people show up to hike and pray and talk about scripture, that’s not a failed group. That’s just a group.
Once you’re actually content with that outcome, the invitation transforms. It’s not “please, I need you to say yes.” It’s “hey, we’re doing this thing, and we think you’d love it. It would be great to have you around. No pressure either way.” That second version is a gift. People can feel the difference, and honestly, that’s the version people say yes to more often anyway.
A Few Scripts You Can Steal to Invite People
You don’t need to reinvent the wheel here. Feel free to make these your own, but here’s language to get you started.
Straightforward one: “Hey, a few of us are starting a small group this fall. We’ll be going through a bible discussion together and doing some outdoor stuff along the way, like [your Earthcare Activity]. We’re meeting every other Tuesday at 6:30pm for 10 weeks, starting September 21st at our place. Would you want to be part of it?”
Low-pressure one: “So [co-leader] and I are starting a group. Nothing fancy, just discussing scripture and getting outside together for about 10 weeks. It’s the first and third Wednesdays at 7pm starting in October. We’d love to have you, but genuinely no pressure if it’s not your season for something new.”
The text-message version, to invite people you don’t need to explain everything to: “Starting a small group: Bible, prayer, eating, outdoor activities too. Thursdays at 6 starting the 12th. You in?”
Notice what all of these have in common. A real date. A real time. And not one ounce of begging.
Two Kinds of Gatherings, Two Kinds of Invitations
Inviting a Christian friend into your core small group is one kind of ask. Inviting a non-Christian neighbor to a gathering is a different, and honestly easier, front door. To use that front door well, it helps to remember that a Tend group actually runs on two different kinds of gatherings, and they’re not interchangeable.
Your dinner and discussion nights are the heart of the group. This is where you sit around a table, share a meal, and work through your study together. It’s relational, it’s a little slower paced, and it usually assumes some level of ongoing commitment. Asking someone to join a dinner and discussion night is asking them to join the group itself.
Your Earthcare Activities are a different animal entirely. These are the hands-on, outdoor, doing-something-together gatherings: a hike, a creek cleanup, a morning spent turning the compost pile, or getting a garden bed ready for the season. They’re lower commitment, easier to explain, and don’t require anyone to sign up for anything beyond showing up once. Nobody needs to understand your study or your group’s rhythm to help you pull weeds for twenty minutes.
That difference is exactly what makes Earthcare Activities such a genuine front door for neighbors. You’re not asking them to join your Bible study. You’re asking them to help you turn compost, plant tomatoes, or pull weeds out of the shared strip along the sidewalk. It’s a much smaller ask, and it doesn’t require any explanation of your group’s theology of restoration, firstfruits, or the coming kingdom. It just requires a wheelbarrow and twenty minutes.
Try something like this: “Hey, I’m turning the compost pile Saturday morning and could use an extra set of hands for ten minutes if you’re around.” Or, “We’re doing a little cleanup along the creek this weekend, nothing formal, just a few of us with trash bags and gloves. Come if you’re free.” These invitations work because they’re concrete, they’re short, and they don’t ask for anything spiritual up front. The relationship and the conversations about faith tend to follow the shared work, not the other way around.
Here’s where the two gatherings start working together. Once a neighbor has shown up for a couple of Earthcare Activities and gotten comfortable around your group, the invitation to a dinner and discussion night stops being a cold ask. They already know your co-leader. They already know what it feels like to be around your people. You’re not inviting a stranger into a small group anymore, you’re inviting a friend to keep doing what you’ve already been doing together, just around a table instead of a garden bed.
This is actually good news theologically, even if you never say a word about theology to your neighbor. When you invite people to care for a small patch of Earth with you, you’re inviting them into something God has been doing since Genesis 1. You don’t have to explain that part. Just hand them some gloves.
FAQ
What if I don’t have a co-leader yet? Should I still start inviting people?
Hold off if you can. A co-leader isn’t just a logistical helper, they’re someone who shares the weight of the invitation and the leading. Trying to do both at once usually leads to burnout or a group that falls apart when life gets busy for you.
What if I invite someone and they say no?
Let it be a simple no. You don’t need to know why, and you don’t need to convince them otherwise. A gracious “no worries, the door’s always open” keeps the relationship intact and keeps your own posture healthy.
How many people should I invite to get a group of six?
There’s no formula, but a good rule of thumb is to invite more than you need, because life happens and schedules conflict. Inviting eight to ten people for a target group of five or six is reasonable, especially for your first round.
Is it weird to invite a neighbor I don’t know very well to an Earthcare Activity?
Not at all, and it’s actually often easier than inviting a close friend to a Bible study. A short, task-focused invitation like helping with compost or a cleanup carries very little social risk. Worst case, they say no and you’ve lost nothing.
Should I mention faith or Tend’s mission when inviting a neighbor to something like a cleanup?
You don’t need to lead with it. Let the invitation be about the actual task. If they ask questions later about why you do this or what your group is about, that’s a natural door to talk more. Forcing it up front tends to make a simple invitation feel like a bait and switch.
